


to love is to know.

by outofdimensions



Category: Original Work
Genre: Discussions of Murder, F/M, Fighting, Swearing, Yelling, come to read the fic are we, damien dont harrass me if i got vex wrong, get fucked, hey warning i talk about dead children, however, if ur one of the chaos sides hey bb wyd, im kidding, just bae tingz, most of it is how fey sees him, ofc you are i sent it to you for a reason, some wise words from da nan are included
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:40:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27523981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/outofdimensions/pseuds/outofdimensions
Summary: fey and vex get into a long and awaited argument.
Relationships: Original Female Character/Original Male Character
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	to love is to know.

**Author's Note:**

> so yeah did i take that lil roleplay and make it in a 1000 word fic? yes. yes i did.

She couldn't remember how they got there. Just that one second she had her head on his chest, watching whatever was on the tv screen, and now, they were arguing with the table separating them. 

There was always something separating them.

“You-you just can't kill kids!!” Fey yelled. She never thought she would have a conversation like this with anyone. She still couldn't believe she was dating someone like him.

“Fuck, what are you gonna do about it nurse girl?”

A joke. He’s joking. He doesn't- this is just all a big joke to him. 

“I- save them??” Fey stuttered out. What else was she supposed to say? This isn't some light topic you break out over dinner with your boyfriend, this is whether or not children should be killed or not.

So Fey tried something.

“This is my one wish, and you have to respect it” 

Why did she never think about him killing kids before? Why did she never ask? She just thought he killed old white CEO’s. Not women and children. Not people with families. Not innocents.

Fey looked back up at him.

His expression was blank. It was almost like he was just not listening to anything that was happening. He was good at shunning emotions. Too good. But she'd seen them in him. Whenever Chiffon would make a joke and make him laugh, or when he would be concerned about Elliott. She just had to get through to him. And maybe she is something he’d consider now. Maybe if she just had one say. If she could impact him somehow, he could see how she feels about this. She knows he can feel. He’s just not letting himself.

“No. That's lame, where's the spice if you dont kill ‘em? They were gonna die sooner or later anyways.”

She's looking in his eyes now, searching for something she can't remember. Emotions, probably. She goes to hold his hands in hers, but stops herself. 

No.

He doesnt get to have affection. He doesnt even want it, so why is she wasting her fucking time here? _ I could go and leave and he wouldn't even care. _

..did he care?

And what the fuck was he on about- 

He’s not- 

He-

She looks at him.

His face is tired and amused.

_ Let me see into you Vex. _

“Vex. do not kill children.”

He laughed.

Fuck.

_ Okay, I can do this, I just gotta wear him down. Maybe he’ll listen then. _

“Okay then, what about”-  _ C’mon, think, stall for time -” _ I can be with you! Then when you kill them”-  _ what are you even stalling for _ -?” I can just heal 'em back!”

He takes a while to respond to that.

She uses that time to study him.

His eyes, posture, hands, his face.

It hits her there that she isn't gonna win this.

“Hm. but they gotta die completely, no can do.”

“Sweetheart no-” she started.

“What the fuck did you just call me?” 

Shit. Wrong move. I know he’s in there somewhere. I know he is. He just wants someone to love him and hold him. He’s never known or felt love before, she just needs to help him. 

_ He just doesn’t want  _ **_you_ ** _.  _

He has to let her in first. But before they do that, they need to talk about this.

‘Nothing. But besides that, they’re just kids! What did they ever do to you? What did a random 6 year old do to hurt you?!”

_ Answer. Answer. Answer.  _

I just need to figure him out. When I do that, then I can help him. He knows I'm trying. He knows I care. He knows how I feel. He knows too much, and that’s too dangerous.

_ You’ve become predictable to him.  _ A voice whispers in the back of her brain. She identifies it as Rey. Rey lives on the other side of the city… If I can just get to them before he knows I'm gone...

_ Abort. Abort. Abort.  _

If I leave his life now, he wouldn't even notice I'm gone. 

A solid plan. 

But then he’ll just go back to trying to kill me. 

She feels the scars on her sides and heart from where he had stabbed her without a second thought.

It was just to prove a point when she was unarmed and doing a task as mundane as watching a movie.

They started to burn.

_ Does he care enough to hunt you down?  _

In a loving way? No. In a murderous rage way? Yes.

In any situation I'm fucked. I just have to find a way to undo all of his killing without him knowing it's me. 

_ He’d know it's you no matter what you do. _

“My purpose here is to see people suffer”

Through his words she can see their faces and hear their voices.  _ My babies. You didn't deserve to die by my hand. Life is cruel and justice cannot be done to you. You didn't deserve to suffer like he says you should. She can still remember the weight of their bodies in her arms as she sobbed.  _

_ My angels. _

They’re so painfully different. But she’d always wanted someone dark and brooding.

She got halfway.

“But- they're just kids! They don't even know right from wrong yet! They don't deserve to suffer.”

He's a good person under everything. She knows it. She wouldn’t be here if he wasn’t. She refuses to believe he would ever hurt her or a child. It becomes like a mantra.

_ He’s good, He’s good, He’s good.  _

_ There's light in him and someone just needs a torch. He is a good person. He's just troubled. _

“Jesus fucking christ. Does it look like I care if they're ‘just kids that know nothing’. I’ll rip them to shreds if i desire so’”

Those words felt like he was stabbing her in the heart again. 

Fey slowly looked up at him.

It hit her what she had been looking at him in search of the whole time. 

The little orphan boy. Someone who had had a shitty childhood, someone who knew what it was like to be a scared and lonely child. 

She tried to picture him like that. Scared and vulnerable. 

Nothing came to her.

She felt like she couldn't breathe. ‘Rip them to-’ god.

“But they-, But-, you-,” she was struggling. 

“Yes? Finish your sentences.” 

He was patronising her. 

She felt hair going dark and her eyes changing to brown. 

She was going to make him feel something.

“You really are fucking heartless, aren’t you?”

Fey could see him pause, like he hadn’t expected her to say anything along those lines. Something flashed in his eyes, but all she saw was her orphan boy. 

_ Please come to me. _

No. 

No.

She was done. The ball is in his court. And she was leaving.

Fey finally moved from her position on the other side of the table to grab her coat and her purse. When she looked back, they made eye contact. He looked like he wanted to say something.

In an uncontrolled moment of anger, she killed all of his houseplants. 

She’d play Elliot back later.

As she was walking back to her home, she remembered something her Nan used to say to her as a child.

_ “To know is to love, and to be known is to be loved.” _

They hadn’t really known each other at all then.


End file.
